"I'll tell my brother, the Bective rugger fullback, on you, heartless flirt."

(U15.766)
"BLOOM

Gentleman of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare's nest. I am a man misunderstood. I am being made a scapegoat of. I am a respectable married man, without a stain on my character. I live in Eccles street."

([U15.774])
"My wife, I am the daughter of a most distinguished commander, a gallant upstanding gentleman,"

([U15.777)
"what do you call him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy, one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Got his majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift.

FIRST WATCH

Regiment."

(U15.779)
"BLOOM

(Turns to the gallery.) The royal Dublins, boys, the salt of the earth, known the world over. I think I see some old comrades in arms up there among you. The R.D.F., with our own Metropolitan police, guardians of our homes, the pluckiest lads and the finest body of men, as physique, in the service of our sovereign."

(U15.784)
"A VOICE
Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain?"

(U15.790)
"I fought with the colours for king and country in the absentminded war"

(U15.794)

The 'absent-minded war' refers to the Boer War (1880 - 1881 and 1899 - 1902) fought during the reign of Queen Victoria between the British Empire and the two independent Boer republics (the Orange Free State and the South African Transvaal Republic). 'General Gough' refers to Hugh 1st Viscount Gough (1779 - 1869), a British field-marshal born in Woodstown, Limerick. Gough obviously did not fight in the Boer war. His son Colonel George Hugh Gough did, and died at Norval's Pont (1900). I also found a Major Hubert Gough, who was part of the relief operation at Ladysmith (1900). The battle of Spion Kop, in which Bloom claims to have fought, took place in January 1900 and resulted in a famous British defeat. Bloemfontein is the capital of the Orange Free State; it was captured in March 1900 by British troops under the command of Lord Roberts (who is mentioned by Molly in Penelope).
"under general Gough in the park and was disabled at Spion Kop and Bloemfontein, was mentioned in dispatches. I did all a white man could. (With quiet feeling.) Jim Bludso. Hold her nozzle again the bank.

FIRST WATCH

Profession or trade."

(U15.795)

A statue of General Sir Hugh Gough (1779 - 1869) famously stands in Phoenix Park!
"BLOOM

Well, I follow a literary occupation. Author-journalist. In fact we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am the inventor, something that is an entirely new departure. I am connected with the British and Irish press. If you ring up..."

(U15.801)
"(Myles Crawford strides out jerkily, a quill between his teeth. His scarlet beak blazes within the aureole of his straw hat. He dangles a hank of Spanish onions in one hand and holds with the other hand a telephone receiver nozzle to his ear.)

MYLES CRAWFORD
(His cock's wattles wagging.) Hello, seventyseven eightfour. Hello. Freeman's Urinal and Weekly Arsewiper here. Paralyse Europe. You which? Bluebags? Who writes? Is it Bloom?" (U15.806)
"(Mr Philip Beaufoy, palefaced, stands in the witnessbox, in accurate morning dress, outbreast pocket with peak of handkerchief showing, creased lavender trousers and patent boots. He carries a large portfolio labelled Matcham's Masterstrokes.)

BEAUFOY

(drawls) No, you aren't. Not by a long shot if I know it. I don't see it that's all. No born gentleman, no-one with the most rudimentary promptings of a gentleman would stoop to such particularly loathsome conduct. One of those, my lord. A plagiarist. A soapy sneak masquerading as a litterateur. It's perfectly obvious that with the most inherent baseness he has cribbed some of my bestselling copy, really gorgeous stuff, a perfect gem, the love passages in which are beneath suspicion."

(U15.814)
"The Beaufoy books of love and great possessions, with which your lordship is doubtless familiar, are a household word throughout the kingdom.

BLOOM

(murmurs with hangdog meekness glum) That bit about the laughing witch hand in hand I take exception to, if I may..."

(U15.825)
"BEAUFOY

(his lip upcurled, smiles superciliously on the court) You funny ass, you! You're too beastly awfully weird for words! I don't think you need over excessively disincommodate yourself in that regard. My literary agent Mr J. B. Pinker is in attendance. I presume, my lord, we shall receive the usual witnesses' fees, shan't we?"

(U15.831)
"We are considerably out of pocket over this bally pressman johnny, this jackdaw of Rheims, who has not even been to a university."

(U15.837)
"BLOOM

(Indistinctly.) University of life. Bad art.

BEAUFOY

(shouts) It's a damnably foul lie, showing the moral rottenness of the man! (he extends his portfolio) We have here damning evidence, the corpus delicti, my lord, a specimen of my maturer work disfigured by the hallmark of the beast.

A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY

Moses, Moses, king of the jews,
Wiped his arse in the Daily News.

BLOOM

(bravely) Overdrawn."

(U15.839)
"BEAUFOY

You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the horsepond, you rotter! (To the court.) Why, look at the man's private life! Leading a quadruple existence! Street angel and house devil. Not fit to be mentioned in mixed society. The archconspirator of the age!

BLOOM

(To the court.) And he, a bachelor, how..."

(U15.851)
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