"In his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell. On his head is perched an Egyptian pshent. Two quills project over his ears.)"
(heels together, bows) My name is Virag Lipoti, of Szombathely."
"(He coughs thoughtfully, drily.) Promiscuous nakedness is much in evidence hereabouts, eh? Inadvertently her backview revealed the fact that she is not wearing those rather intimate garments of which you are a particular devotee. The injection mark on the thigh I hope you perceived? Good.
Number two on the other hand, she of the cherry rouge and coiffeuse white, whose hair owes not a little to our tribal elixir of gopherwood, is in walking costume and tightly staysed by her sit, I should opine. Backbone in front, so to say."
"Correct me but I always understood that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. In a word. Hippogriff. Am I right?
She is rather lean."
(Cynically, his weasel teeth bared yellow, draws down his left eye with a finger and barks hoarsely.) Hoax! Beware of the flapper and bogus mournful. Lily of the alley."
"All possess bachelor's button discovered by Rualdus Columbus."
I wasn't sure what image to put here. A bachelor's button is also a flower.
"Tumble her. Columble her. Chameleon. (More genially.) Well then, permit me to draw your attention to item number three. There is plenty of her visible to the naked eye. Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her skull. What ho, she bumps! The ugly duckling of the party, longcasted and deep in keel.
(regretfully) When you come out without your gun." (U15.2342)
We can do you all brands, mild, medium and strong. Pay your money, take your choice. How happy could you be with either...
(his tongue upcurling) Lyum! Look. Her beam is broad. She is coated with quite a considerable layer of fat. Obviously mammal in weight of bosom"
"you remark that she has in front well to the fore two protuberances of very respectable dimensions, inclined to fall in the noonday soupplate,"
"while on her rere lower down are two additional protuberances, suggestive of potent rectum and tumescent for palpation, which leave nothing to be desired save compactness. Such fleshy parts are the product of careful nurture. When coopfattened their livers reach an elephantine size. Pellets of new bread with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green tea endow them during their brief existence with natural pincushions of quite colossal blubber."
"Fleshhotpots of Egypt to hanker after. Wallow in it. Lycopodium. (His throat twitches.) Slapbang! There he goes again.
The stye I dislike."
(Arches his eyebrows.) Contact with a goldring, they say. Argumentum ad feminam, as we said in old Rome and ancient Greece"
"in the consulship of Diplodocus"
"and Ichthyosaurus. For the rest Eve's sovereign remedy. Not for sale. Hire only."
(reflecting) Wheatenmeal with lycopodium and syllabax. This searching ordeal. It has been an unusually fatiguing day, a chapter of accidents. Wait. I mean, wartsblood spreads warts, you said...
(severely, his nose hardhumped, his side eye winking) Stop twirling your thumbs and have a good old thunk. See, you have forgotten."
"Exercise your mnemotechnic. La causa è santa. Tara. Tara. (aside) He will surely remember."